2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
