We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
