I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize