i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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