Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
This house was built for laser tag.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
