Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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