You're my little dorito
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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