Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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