she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
