what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
