things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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