He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
