I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
