He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
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I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
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I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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