I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
