oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My balls are so social today.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
