i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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