Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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