3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize