My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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