Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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