Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
