the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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