Screwed.edu
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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