Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
