and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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