Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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