i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Someone came in the potted fern
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
