Where is the hickey?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
