Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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