Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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