dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
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I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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