Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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