I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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