Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
