Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
