Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize