is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
