1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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