so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
