Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the day after is always just damage control
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
