I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
