Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
