Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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