I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
