Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
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Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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