I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
