turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
