i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
