I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
