Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
