The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
