Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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