I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
