Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just invented taco cereal.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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