i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
