Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
