Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She announced her abortion via fbk
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
