Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I wear drunk well.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
