He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize